Remember how, back in the day, these letters or whatever they were were primarily about Thursday? They were about specifically the neat things that happened today (because "neat" and "Thursday" have a co-causal relationship in Thursdayland, and I was just slapping down the proof), or even completely RANDOM and perhaps untruthful facts about Thursday. I mean, it was strictly a celebration of Thursdayness and the color brown.
Lately, I've noticed that's it's been my weekly journal for a long time now. When I noticed, I thought that maybe I'd try to go back to what it was, ie, stop it from being what it presently was. And then I thought, nah, it's evolved, and I'm sure it'll have several different stages in its (optimistically) long life. No point in turning back when there's still a forward to anticipate.
But then I think, what's so interesting about reading about what I did on Saturday and Tuesday, and what paper I have yet to write in the next half hour and what I think of Meredith Grey? I know I wrote that emo rant a while back proclaiming that I didn't have to nor want to cater to a picky audience, but I'm willing to say that my weekly itinerary isn't that interesting to even the most open-minded person.
I mean, I'm sure it is, for some. And being out of town as I am, it's a pretty easy way to keep people updated and whatnot. For instance, I spontaneously got a hair cut on Monday, and it's very short and I like it a lot. There's some of you who would only ever know that from reading this. But.
I think today I'd like to write you a free-association essay on the effect music has on identity. Wait, don't close the window. I won't take long.
The thing that pleases me the most about my Zune (whom I named Sora -"sky"- in recognition of its wireless capacity), and the feature that I've been
K-R-O-Q, "K-Rock," is a rock station. And after listening to it for four days straight, I've come to realize that I didn't exactly know what rock was. I've had a tendency to label the music Live 105.5 plays as "real music," and have used the flavor of that station to belittle the stations here in LA. 105.5 is alternative, with some rock and some pop. Because this is all there is in Ventura County, that's what I know. That's what I like, through repetition and familiarity more than through actually fondness of the genre or style.
KROQ doesn't play John Mayer. There's no Kelly Clarkson, and there's none of the singles that I know neither title nor artist, but know nonetheless simply because it is "popular." There's no Fallout Boy, All American Rejects, or Panic! At the Disco, and these last three are what I think come closest to "real music" in my mind right now. The world of Rock is Modest Mouse, NIN, Korn, Nirvana, Linkin Park, Incubus, and some Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and Green Day. The major difference that I can see between 105.5 and KROQ (and so the genres of their music) is that every three songs I'll have to switch from 105.5 to 95.1 or some other static to avoid a song I absolutely despise. KROQ, on the other hand, I've been listening to for four days straight.
I don't love every song, no, but I don't hate any, either. I have fallen in love with some, and am hoarding them jealously from the world. What gets me the most, though, is how I never thought to listen to this music before? Look what I was missing out on! I like this animal called Rock, and yet I didn't truly understand it before now. Why?
I think that there's three reasons a person falls on to form an opinion about a song.
First- the sound of the music. There's something about the plain sound of country that makes me cringe. There's something about the sound of Linkin Park that makes me incredible happy.
Two- what the song stands for. I dislike rap for it's subject matter--I particularly like the sound of rapping, which is something I like about Linkin Park and my Asian-languaged rap, but I can't stand the genre "rap." This second condition also points to the artist, and the stuff related to the artist. It's not only that I dislike Britney Spears' music, but I also dislike Britney Spears.
Three- the opinion of your clique. It was cool to like NSYNC, then it wasn't (and even when it was, you couldn't simultaneously like the Backstreet Boys). It was or was not cool to like Avril Lavigne (and still is and isn't). It's never been cool to like Classical. Among Linkin Park fans, liking LP is a cool thing; to everyone else, you're an immature emo-wannabe.
This is where music has the chance to become your identity. I think I stayed at the edges of the Rock community because of its reputation. I'd heard Korn and Green Day before, and they seemed to be the sort of band that labeled its fans. I mean, you can't just be a person who happens to like Green Day. As soon as you say, "hey, this is a cool song," you become a "Green Day Fan," and something significant about you has changed, and everyone knows it and judges you appropriately by it. Music, your taste in it, marks you.
And people do act like this. I know I've looked at some one's internet profile and judged them worthy or not solely on the band names listed under Favorite Music. Loyalty to a style of music is what formed the hippie and grunge and goth and punk and even emo sub-cultures. I mean, fashion sense is affected by the type of music you and your friends listen to.
So when I clicked out of the radio (KROQ seems to stop playing music in the evening, and instead has a "love line") and set my library on shuffle, I felt like a stranger walking into someone else's house. This is what got me thinking, because I truly enjoy my J-Pop and instrumental and soundtrack type music that populates my playlist. This is music I know I like, and have liked, and will continue to like. But after listening to ROCK! for four days straight, it was as if I'd taken on the ROCK! mantle, like I'd been parading around in it, and I had to sheepishly take it off to return to the music I'd abandoned.
My semi-related point is that I can like rock, and I can like alternative, and I can like J-pop, and I can like movie scores, and I don't have to pick one or the other. Or other. They are far from being mutually exclusive, even if I have a funny preconditioned notion that they should be.
Heheh, I didn't mean to write on this for half an hour. I just thought it was interesting, is all. I open the floor for discussion.
-Steph
1 comment:
Steph,
Ahh, the myopic view of the young. As I enter the winter of my life (turning 30) I look back and think of a time when I made many similar comments on the state of ROCK! music.
In order to understand, you'd have to know that I was raised on classical (dad) and artists such as Lee Greenwood (God bless the USA was my favorite song in 6th grade marking me a a hopeless nerd. it would have been ok if I was a military kid, but I wasn't). Most of my musical taste came from hearing music from my dad, but I have to credit Dave with Paul Simon. And I have to deduct Leonard Cohen from Dad's balance. Anyway...
I discovered ROCK! from Jonathan's parents. Of course, it was old/classic rock. When I got to college, I too discovered KROQ and the short-lived Y107, which was my favorite. I'll admit I listened to KIIS once apon a time when it was good. That pretty much ended in 1999 or 2000.
But growing up, music defined your subculture. It, even more than my other nerdy interests with drama and choir, established a portion of my identity. I remember the first time some guitarist picked out soulful strains of U2's Joshua Tree album, which I had never heard. It was music with emotion, desire, and even hard questions. U2 still ranks among my favorites today, though their style has continually changed over the years.
So Steph, on a personal note, although I don't listen to LP or modern Green Day (I prefer their first album, when they had no point and were just loud and angry), I _feel_ what you're going through. Music is one of the best forms of human expression, and there are as as many kinds as there are people. So let your choice of music influence your identity, but don't let yourself get boxed into a category based on the groups you like. My eclectic mix contains everything from rock, pop, gospel, satire, J-Pop, soundtrack, classical, electronica, new age, punk, metal, and even on extremely rare occasions, country rock. But not plain country. That would just be weird.
- your bro
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