Dear Vons, today I handed in my apron
The timer went off, and I did not hit the sweep log
That lady's food is piling up at the end of the belt,
and yet I do not run to bag it.
I will no longer bag your boxes of granola bars
your two liters of Diet Pepsi Jazz Black Cherry French Vanilla
your 50 cans of cat food
your bread baked fresh at 5 PM.
I will never again place your delicate fruits at the top with gentle care,
and I will never again ask if you want your watermelon in a bag.
From this day on, I will not ask you how your day has been
nor if you need any help out.
I might help you find something on the shelf
(because I'm a nice person like that)
But if you ask me to take your cart back for you,
I will politely yell "Heck no!"
And drive away.
Vons, if you find that there are not enough baggers
please do not page me
I am not in the store
And I'm not in the parking lot, either
Find someone else to go on that price check
Or take the cheese back to dairy/deli
Or throw the cardboard in the baler.
If the go-backs fill up three carts, it's not my fault!
If the parking lot is full up with carts, it's not my fault!
It there aren't any bags up front, it's not my fault!
If that lady slips on the floor again, it's not my fault!
If the belts aren't clean, it's not my fault!
I'm not responsible for that anymore.
Please yell at someone else.
Vons, there are some things I'd like to thank you for.
Thanks for Mark, and Ashley, and Kathy.
Thanks for my nice tan and buff arms.
Thanks for the cash to buy books this year.
Thanks for showing me I can endure a lot more than I thought I could.
But I won't thank you for tired feet.
Or that 38.75 hour week.
Or Union dues.
Or grumpy Joe.
Vons, I'd like to say it's been a good summer with you
But really it was only mediocre minus.
I hope I don't hurt your feelings when I say I'm never working for you again.
And, if you would, go easy on my comrades I've left behind.
And maybe warn your news hires of exactly what they're getting into?
I'd appreciate that.
That's all I have to say to you, Vons.
I know we'll meet again in the future,
but you'd better be ready to bag my cold things with cold things
and help me out to my car.
Because from today on,
we go our separate ways.
PS
Your in-store music is really annoying.
-Steph
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Ah, the funny things I seen
Happy Thursday! Twas a funny one, I tell ya. And good, 'cause it was my first day off after the 9-hour-block-of-days. Ehh. Me and Carolyn, we went to Buena! And saw Mrs. Lyans--snuck into her class, and she didn't even notice us! That was really funny. And then we sat through Film Studies ('cause we took that class!) and learned vast knowledges about film.
But then it was lunch, and we wandered all around the school trying to find Zack, to give him a Go set, him being the final surviving member of the Go club. We found Carolyn's cousin Sam, but no Zack. So we went to the library and saw our good librarian friends! The funniest part there was when Mrs. Gray was telling Mrs. Fordahl about how Carolyn went to New Zealand, and then all of a sudden Mrs. Fordahl turns to us and says all loud "So you went to New Zealand!!" When the two of us had not really been expecting that. Also, I almost put my hand in a spider later.
So Mrs. Fordahl looked up Zack's schedule for us, so we went and stalked him outside his class, and then we followed him back to the office (where he had been hiding during lunch) so he could stash the board and stones with his mom. And then I met his mom! Who's crazy! It was great. Shoulda seen her dance. XD Zack, your mom's great. ^^
Then we went to Burger King, and decided that there had been a mutiny in the ship. Which you won't understand. But I assure you it was. So all of our little inside jokes about the place were funny...and our discussion of transporters and shields. And we got awesome football game/toys!
Then we went to go pick up Steven at Maverick's...there's a couple of gigantic fans in there that are just gonna fall and kill everybody. Also, they had a little tv by the front desk playing some fake tae bo stuff which was funny. But definitely the best part of the whole day was when we were leaving. Carolyn was backing out, and just went far enough so that the radio (105.5) transformed into Mexican music. We're all "....0o!!" and then she pulled forward to leave, and everything went back to normal. It was like a randomly placed Twilight Zone.
And then.....We went back to their house and watched three eps of Host Club!!! And if that's not funny, nothing is. Totally a wonderful show. Ah. Then we played Starcraft against too many people and repeatedly died! But then me and Carolyn took on Steven and won. Not funny, just fun.
And then I played a little of the Loco Roco demo on the PSP, and that was both funny and fun. And aggravating. During that, I had some food, which was good and aggravating, because my jaw started acting up. Then I went home.
*nods*
Oh, but then I saw the Office, and like an hour of Whose Line? and finished the funny day quite well. And I also started it well last night in my dream, when there was a really long goat.
SO ONE WEEK LEFT OF STUPID WORK. Something Next Thursday will really have to be happy about. Also, I forgot to say happy end of the summer last week, 'cause the schools are back on! Hense our going to Buena and there being people there. Soon, the rest of us will be going back as well.
This work thing has, for the first time in my entire life, really really made me look forward to school.
-Steph
But then it was lunch, and we wandered all around the school trying to find Zack, to give him a Go set, him being the final surviving member of the Go club. We found Carolyn's cousin Sam, but no Zack. So we went to the library and saw our good librarian friends! The funniest part there was when Mrs. Gray was telling Mrs. Fordahl about how Carolyn went to New Zealand, and then all of a sudden Mrs. Fordahl turns to us and says all loud "So you went to New Zealand!!" When the two of us had not really been expecting that. Also, I almost put my hand in a spider later.
So Mrs. Fordahl looked up Zack's schedule for us, so we went and stalked him outside his class, and then we followed him back to the office (where he had been hiding during lunch) so he could stash the board and stones with his mom. And then I met his mom! Who's crazy! It was great. Shoulda seen her dance. XD Zack, your mom's great. ^^
Then we went to Burger King, and decided that there had been a mutiny in the ship. Which you won't understand. But I assure you it was. So all of our little inside jokes about the place were funny...and our discussion of transporters and shields. And we got awesome football game/toys!
Then we went to go pick up Steven at Maverick's...there's a couple of gigantic fans in there that are just gonna fall and kill everybody. Also, they had a little tv by the front desk playing some fake tae bo stuff which was funny. But definitely the best part of the whole day was when we were leaving. Carolyn was backing out, and just went far enough so that the radio (105.5) transformed into Mexican music. We're all "....0o!!" and then she pulled forward to leave, and everything went back to normal. It was like a randomly placed Twilight Zone.
And then.....We went back to their house and watched three eps of Host Club!!! And if that's not funny, nothing is. Totally a wonderful show. Ah. Then we played Starcraft against too many people and repeatedly died! But then me and Carolyn took on Steven and won. Not funny, just fun.
And then I played a little of the Loco Roco demo on the PSP, and that was both funny and fun. And aggravating. During that, I had some food, which was good and aggravating, because my jaw started acting up. Then I went home.
*nods*
Oh, but then I saw the Office, and like an hour of Whose Line? and finished the funny day quite well. And I also started it well last night in my dream, when there was a really long goat.
SO ONE WEEK LEFT OF STUPID WORK. Something Next Thursday will really have to be happy about. Also, I forgot to say happy end of the summer last week, 'cause the schools are back on! Hense our going to Buena and there being people there. Soon, the rest of us will be going back as well.
This work thing has, for the first time in my entire life, really really made me look forward to school.
-Steph
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Two Weeks
It's a little less than three weeks till school starts, I reckon. But it's *two weeks* until work ends. And that's just fantastic.
Hahah, Smallville is still so dumb! Lana's like a drug addict, and tried to steal money from Lex, who almost shot her. XD And what's this about CW? UPN and WB merging? Interesting. Maybe they'll finally figure out how to not cancel their most popular shows.
So I saw David today. David like from Buena. I guess he still reads this, or something. @@ He's a lot taller and stuff. Way to go, David!
What else happened today!! Watched some DS9, the first ep, it was really bad. Um, didn't do too much else before I went to work. Didn't do much at work, either. I'm so boring.
Smallville is also boring!! Lex is the only reason to watch it. Lex, and the great laughs you always get from watching it.
Oh, just saw the Visine commercial with the cat (great commerical!! it's a face all allergic people know well) and it reminds me that I don't have a cat anymore. Yeah, Simba. One day he was nyaoing around, and then, he nyaoed no more. We don't know exactly what happened--he just is gone. It's pretty sad, and abrupt.
Yawn. All this summer sleeping makes me tired. Or, maybe it's this bad show. Did you know, that when you die, you see your dead parents? Yeah. Sorry, Lex, gotta watch.
...
...
...
Thanks for waiting. The guy looks good in black. Too bad he became Clark's evil cousin or whatever. Grar. Hmm, this is less a Happy Thursday message than Stephanie's Random Notes on Smallville. Hmm. Sorry about that. Well, now it's over!
Happy Thursday!
-Steph
Hahah, Smallville is still so dumb! Lana's like a drug addict, and tried to steal money from Lex, who almost shot her. XD And what's this about CW? UPN and WB merging? Interesting. Maybe they'll finally figure out how to not cancel their most popular shows.
So I saw David today. David like from Buena. I guess he still reads this, or something. @@ He's a lot taller and stuff. Way to go, David!
What else happened today!! Watched some DS9, the first ep, it was really bad. Um, didn't do too much else before I went to work. Didn't do much at work, either. I'm so boring.
Smallville is also boring!! Lex is the only reason to watch it. Lex, and the great laughs you always get from watching it.
Oh, just saw the Visine commercial with the cat (great commerical!! it's a face all allergic people know well) and it reminds me that I don't have a cat anymore. Yeah, Simba. One day he was nyaoing around, and then, he nyaoed no more. We don't know exactly what happened--he just is gone. It's pretty sad, and abrupt.
Yawn. All this summer sleeping makes me tired. Or, maybe it's this bad show. Did you know, that when you die, you see your dead parents? Yeah. Sorry, Lex, gotta watch.
...
...
...
Thanks for waiting. The guy looks good in black. Too bad he became Clark's evil cousin or whatever. Grar. Hmm, this is less a Happy Thursday message than Stephanie's Random Notes on Smallville. Hmm. Sorry about that. Well, now it's over!
Happy Thursday!
-Steph
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Ahoy!
And Happy Thursday! Though I have to work today, but it's not an 8 hour shift, and it's closing, which is better 'cause in the last two hours there's really nothing to do. But all the day before that, I got to wear my new Thursday shirt and tie, and I felt really snazzy.
So, the fair! I love the fair. Nothing to do at the fair, though, I just love it. Went twice. Somehow managed not to see the fireworks yet, but it's really alright 'cause I saw 'em every day at the AX.
Oh yeah, I never showed pictures and stuff of that for you. Oh well. One day I'll put the better ones up on Flickr, and you can just drop by there. I took pictures at the fair, too, so you can go see them while you're at it.
Not much else to report. When I'm not at work, I'm doing nothing or hanging out at Carolyn's house...or going to the fair, these days. I just started FFIV for real, but haven't had time to play it. Went to see Over the Hedge again last night, too. With a new work buddy. She's a new checker at our store, 'cause she moved down here to go to VC, and I thought she was two or three years older than me, but she's actually two or three months younger. She's pretty cool, but I'm just going to move away to college, and she'll have to make new friends.
Hmm, school is scary close. But, I guess I'm excited about it, 'cause I'm taking stuff I want to take. And a thing that I don't want to take from a prof I sorta dislike, but I s'pose I can't have everything perfect. I *will* be taking, however, a class I'm *very* interested in with a prof I like *very* much, and that's what I'm most excited about. That, and Japanese. So that when I go to Japan next year or whatever, I can translate. ^^
Have fun, guys!
-Steph
So, the fair! I love the fair. Nothing to do at the fair, though, I just love it. Went twice. Somehow managed not to see the fireworks yet, but it's really alright 'cause I saw 'em every day at the AX.
Oh yeah, I never showed pictures and stuff of that for you. Oh well. One day I'll put the better ones up on Flickr, and you can just drop by there. I took pictures at the fair, too, so you can go see them while you're at it.
Not much else to report. When I'm not at work, I'm doing nothing or hanging out at Carolyn's house...or going to the fair, these days. I just started FFIV for real, but haven't had time to play it. Went to see Over the Hedge again last night, too. With a new work buddy. She's a new checker at our store, 'cause she moved down here to go to VC, and I thought she was two or three years older than me, but she's actually two or three months younger. She's pretty cool, but I'm just going to move away to college, and she'll have to make new friends.
Hmm, school is scary close. But, I guess I'm excited about it, 'cause I'm taking stuff I want to take. And a thing that I don't want to take from a prof I sorta dislike, but I s'pose I can't have everything perfect. I *will* be taking, however, a class I'm *very* interested in with a prof I like *very* much, and that's what I'm most excited about. That, and Japanese. So that when I go to Japan next year or whatever, I can translate. ^^
Have fun, guys!
-Steph
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Happy Thursday!
It's been a good day, I s'pose mostly because it's a day off from work, and on a Thursday! Opens up a lot of time to do fun stuff in. Fun stuff like as follows:
Popping the 13 year old Tai Chi tape that was produced in Thousand Oaks. Every thing was so PINK in 93. It's a funny, funny testament of the campiness of the good ol' days, and also a surprisingly non-easy workout.
Popping in the new pilates DVD that turns out to be a CD because my sister apparently can't read. She was sad that it was just a CD, but it was pretty funny watching her do that crazy stuff they like to make you think is exercise.
Going to El Loco Taco and getting a side of rice what was bigger than my sister's burrito.
Going to JambaJuice to get what my dad has called a "Jamba Snack," because I really like snacks. Citrus Bliss with peaches instead of strawberries, 'cause I dun like the little seeds everyplace.
Driving to Oxnard (and trying to find how to get there) because we still need more snacks and we figured Ventura wouldn't have any Mexican bakeries. Ah, Oxnard. We drove and drove and drove and for the longest time it was just tract housing and shopping centers with no panderias in sight. Sigh. Oxnard is just so much nicer than we think it is. But then we found one! In a crazy small corner with a Japanese resaurant and like a car or electronics shop. But there wasn't the greatest selection, and as it turns out, it wasn't of the greatest quality, either. Or, I'm just spoiled by El Merandero in Pamona.
And then we get home, all giggly from the free Energy Boost, and the sugar, and the half-hour drive through Oxnard on surface streets (>
AND THEN I WENT UPSTAIRS TO GRAB MY LAPPY, AND WHAT'S ON MY BED BUT A WONDERFUL RED TIE MY MOM BOUGHT ME!! I been lookin' for one! I keep on ending up with silver ones and blue ones! Now I have a red one! I is wearing it right now ^^ And it came with a little handkerchief or whatever, so I need to get a brown suit to stick it in.
So that was my day, one of the better Thursdays in a while, and Jeopardy's almost on, so I'm gonna run. Not actually run, 'cause there's no place to run to, and if I did run somewhere, I'd have to run back 'cause I wouldn't have enough time to walk back before seven...
-Steph!
Popping the 13 year old Tai Chi tape that was produced in Thousand Oaks. Every thing was so PINK in 93. It's a funny, funny testament of the campiness of the good ol' days, and also a surprisingly non-easy workout.
Popping in the new pilates DVD that turns out to be a CD because my sister apparently can't read. She was sad that it was just a CD, but it was pretty funny watching her do that crazy stuff they like to make you think is exercise.
Going to El Loco Taco and getting a side of rice what was bigger than my sister's burrito.
Going to JambaJuice to get what my dad has called a "Jamba Snack," because I really like snacks. Citrus Bliss with peaches instead of strawberries, 'cause I dun like the little seeds everyplace.
Driving to Oxnard (and trying to find how to get there) because we still need more snacks and we figured Ventura wouldn't have any Mexican bakeries. Ah, Oxnard. We drove and drove and drove and for the longest time it was just tract housing and shopping centers with no panderias in sight. Sigh. Oxnard is just so much nicer than we think it is. But then we found one! In a crazy small corner with a Japanese resaurant and like a car or electronics shop. But there wasn't the greatest selection, and as it turns out, it wasn't of the greatest quality, either. Or, I'm just spoiled by El Merandero in Pamona.
And then we get home, all giggly from the free Energy Boost, and the sugar, and the half-hour drive through Oxnard on surface streets (>
AND THEN I WENT UPSTAIRS TO GRAB MY LAPPY, AND WHAT'S ON MY BED BUT A WONDERFUL RED TIE MY MOM BOUGHT ME!! I been lookin' for one! I keep on ending up with silver ones and blue ones! Now I have a red one! I is wearing it right now ^^ And it came with a little handkerchief or whatever, so I need to get a brown suit to stick it in.
So that was my day, one of the better Thursdays in a while, and Jeopardy's almost on, so I'm gonna run. Not actually run, 'cause there's no place to run to, and if I did run somewhere, I'd have to run back 'cause I wouldn't have enough time to walk back before seven...
-Steph!
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